Tell me Why? Eric Beale
by RealityXIllusion
Summary: Eric works hard to be useful, he also works hard to keep his past a secret. But now due to things out of his control, everything is changing even though he desperately wishes it wouldn't. No romance as of yet. WARNING MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/ACTIONS FULL WARNINGS ARE INSDE.
1. Chapter 1

_**Tell me Why?**_

* * *

Summary: Eric works hard to be useful, he also works hard to keep his past a secret. But now due to things out of his control, everything is changing even though he desperately wishes it wouldn't. No romance as of yet.

* * *

Character(s): Eric Beale, Linda Beale (maiden name Martin), Conrad Beale, Ruth Beale (Eric's younger sister), NECESSARY OC's, Callen, Sam, Deeks, Kensi, Nate?, Nell, Hetty, Mike Renko, Vance, Abby Scuito (maybe), and other random people might show up from time to time.

* * *

Warning(s): Suicidal minor Character, Mentions of deaths, a toddler dies, drinking, mental and emotional abuse, brief physical abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, secrets, Eric's not so happy childhood, deaf, sign language, speaking in other languages, yelling, offensive comments, **_DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED EASILY_** , lying, trust issues, panic attacks, running away from issues, more tags will be added as the story progresses.

* * *

I do not own NCIS LA

* * *

For the sake of this story, Eric Beale was born September 18, 1984.

* * *

For years he's worked alongside the rest of the team for Director Vance at the Los Angeles N.C.I.S headquarters, in those years he's made sure to never let slip anything that was to personal and not once had he talked about his childhood to any of his teammates.

Well, besides his little slip up admitting he had learned sign language when he was seven, but that was just because he was worried about Abby. And that little fact of him being expelled from high school that one time. The others all had their moments where some of their past had come to light, and it worried Eric that it may also happen to him.

It wasn't like his past was as bad as Callen's or Deeks, well he thought it wasn't and it was his opinion that he really cared about. As a child he lived with both his parent from the time he was born until the day of his fourth birthday when they had filed for divorce. Things only went downhill from there, Eric couldn't remember everything of his childhood but most things were hard to forget.

His parents arguing at every waking moment until finally his dad moved out.

The divorce carrying on for months until it had finalized and his parents both claiming the other could, "Keep the kid,".

Eventually getting use to jumping back and forth from his dad's house to his mom's apartment (she had to move considering her small waitress job at the local diner wasn't enough to pay the rent).

Sometime in the next year his mom had gotten drunk at the bar nearby, she'd come home with a man and Eric hid in his bedroom wide awake in the closet until the strange man left early in the morning. The next day his mom had screamed at him until her voice had gone hoarse. It was almost a month later he remembers his mom's first breakdown and how she begged him not to leave like his father or that man from that night. It was eight months later when his mom was rushed to the hospital while he was at his neighbors house that he learned her stomach wasn't getting bigger due to eating more, it was because she was pregnant.

Life after Eric welcomed his baby sister Ruth Martin (his mother's maiden name) home. He thought that maybe now things would change, maybe his dad would come back and his mom could smile again.

He wasn't wrong. Things did change. His mom started drinking more and more each night leaving him to watch over Ruth and try to stop her cries before his mom got upset. When his dad found out about Ruth (Eric had been the one to tell him in excitement thinking it would make his dad happy) he was so furious that Eric for the first time in his life found himself terrified of his father. He had stormed into the apartment dragging Eric behind him by the elbow and practically had thrown him off to the side as he advanced on his mom. Eric was scared but Ruth's crying gave him the courage to take her and flee to their shared bedroom where he once again hid in the closet this time clutching baby Ruth to his chest as he sang softly to her.

He fell asleep in the closet and was later on woken up by Ruth slapping his cheeks playfully.

For the next six months Eric didn't seen his father at all. His mom had taken to cooing over Ruth when she was sober enough to realize where she was and screaming the nastiest things she could think of at Eric whenever she bothered acknowledging his existence.

The only one who seemed to love him or cared about him was Ruth.

Hitting the six month mark, his father showed back up and demanded Eric come with him. His mom let him leave without even saying goodbye. Eric didn't understand it then but he was nervous to be left alone with his father, it must've been obvious because just before he could get in the car his father pulled him into a tight hug and wouldn't let go. Eric buried his face into the crook of his father's neck and sobbed loudly. Eventually he calmed down enough for his father to get him into the car and he fell asleep in the back seat. For two weeks afterwards Eric almost felt happy, he had been there at his father's house the entire time. It was late one night when Eric who couldn't sleep heard his father yelling into the phone and mentioning his name repeatedly along with Ruth's. Then Eric felt ashamed at leaving Ruth all alone. He may have been only five (Almost six!) but he knew his mom wasn't able to watch Ruth on her own for long. It was why the morning after during breakfast he had asked his father to take him back to the apartment.

The look on his father's face in that moment was one Eric could never forget.

He was right thinking his mom wouldn't have been able to look after Ruth for long. When he entered the apartment, his father having dropped him off on the sidewalk before driving away, Eric found his mom passed out on the couch surrounded by various "Grown up drinks,". What was worst was that Ruth had one in her mouth and was downing what little liquids was left inside. Eric rushed forward and took the bottle from her and locked her into her highchair with a stuffed rabbit to keep her busy while he cleaned.

He picked up all the glass bottles first, dumped what was left then walked them down to the recycle bin outside. Then he stuffed all the trash he could see into a trash bag before he took that outside as well. It was the randoms cigarette buds, even the ones seemingly still lit, that he didn't know what to do with them. In the end he flushed them bit by bit down the toilet. That day was spent cleaning and trying to salvage what little food was left before carrying Ruth in his arms (she was a tiny baby, he had no issue carrying her for varied lengths of time) and taking a wad of bills out of his mom's purse then walked down to the Supermarket. He had to lie to everyone who questioned him that his mom was watching from nearby and had agreed to let him to the errands for today.

For the next year and a half, his father never called or showed up again. His mom had started spending more time drunk then sober, and she had gotten fired from her job when she stopped showing up.

One of the bad things about that year was when his mom started talking to herself and crying randomly. Another thing was when he caught her in the bathroom with a kitchen knife just staring at it all the while holding it over her wrist.

What Eric felt was the worst thing had to have been done was when his mother tried to kill herself, Ruth, and him too. She'd wasn't entirely successful. The day had started out like any other, his mom picked him up from his father's house and started driving them back to the small apartment. Eric didn't know why she bothered leaving him at his father's when his father would just leave him home alone for days on end, which he had done when he let Eric come over. When Eric asked she said it was because she couldn't handle having him home for so long with out a break, it hurt him to hear her say that but he knew it was the truth. And didn't have the heart to tell her how when she's been dropping him off at his father's house he never went inside or even rung the doorbell. Eric knew his father had moved out months ago, he'd told his mom before but he assumed she must've forgotten.

The only difference from this day and any other was that his mom drove past their apartment. He didn't ask where they were going, he learned to just not talk to her unless she spoke first. Instead he sat in the back next to a sleeping Ruth's car-seat, and silently tried to figure out where his mom was taking them.

He grew scared when she began speeding up.

Soon everything around them began passing by in a blur, the only thing he really noticed was the upcoming metal railing they were heading towards and the sparkling blue of the ocean as they raced towards it. Next thing he knew, the car was forcibly stopped before it had flipped up and over the railing before landing with a great big splash into the water.

The last thing he heard was Ruth's screaming. For once she had finally pronounced his name correctly, then he blacked out.

When he woke up he was in a unfamiliar room with a stranger leaning over him and shining a light into his eyes. His lips were moving and he was trying to say something to him, but Eric couldn't hear him.

It was hours later just as Eric just wanted so badly to go bad to sleep and wanted his body to stop hurting that someone came into his room, at the hospital as he later learned, and explained to him that he had lost his hearing...he was now deaf.

Four days. That's how long he's been in the hospital. After the first day he stopped talking, he didn't want to talk if he couldn't even hear his own voice. It was on the third day that the nurses and his Doctor had started writing on paper asking him tons of questions like;

 _Why aren't you talking?_

 _Does anywhere hurt?_

 _How are you today?_

 _Where is your daddy?_

 _Do you know anyone we can call?_

It wasn't until the fourth day that Eric had a breakdown crying and screaming at the top of his lungs, demanding to leave and to see Ruth and his mom. The nurse tried explaining that his mom was hurt badly and needed rest, but when she wouldn't say anything about Ruth, Eric decided to try and find out for himself.

First chance he got he snuck out of the hospital room until he climbed behind the nurses station until he could get to one of the computers. He was only seven but he remembered clearly watching what his teachers would do on their computers during school. Eric tried to mimic it multiple times, and when that didn't working he changed one thing at a time, trying to find the right combination that would unlock the screen. It took a couple of minutes and Eric was surprised he hadn't been found already, but eventually he had gotten the computer unlocked and searched through the nurses log thingy to look for his sister first.

He wished he hadn't.

It was all there. The details of the accident they were involved in, Eric knew it definitely wasn't a accident, and who was involved.

Then he got to the part where it described Ruth's condition when she was admitted to the hospital. He read how she was brought to the hospital in critical condition, and how due to how young she was it would've taken a miracle for her to survive. He also read the time of death as 3:26AM on October 31, 1991.

He couldn't read anymore.

What happened next was sort of a funny memory for him, actually the next two months flew by in a haze. Eric was eventually released from the hospital the same day as his mother, from that moment on her refused to acknowledge her as "Mom,". He vaguely remembers the nurses all hugging him and the one giving him a dark brown bear with a 'Sign to Me!' T-shirt on, the silence on the cab ride home, the fear when he realized he literally could hear _nothing_ and he can remember only watching his mother supposedly start yelling at him and trashing the apartment before she dragged him to his room (Only his now because Ruth was gone. _Gonegonegone_.) where she then locked him in.

That's all he can remember when he thinks back to that night or even tries to remember the two months that follow.

It was when he woke up on Christmas morning hugging both his bear and Ruth's stuffed rabbit to his chest that he realized he was entirely alone, no matter that he knew his mother was passed out in the living room once again surrounded by beer bottles and old scotch she always seemed to pull out from nowhere.

Shuffling down the hall Eric came to a stop right by his mothers sleeping face.

He remembers how pretty he thought she used to be.

How happy she use to seem.

Then he eyed the still half filled bottle of scotch, without a second thought he snatched it and brought it back to his bedroom where he then sat in his closet and drank.

He tried to drink all of it, but he didn't get to far before he blacked out. He jerked awake when he began choking on the vomit he had thrown up while unconscious. The next two or three hours was spent throwing up, crying, and silently wishing he could just make everything STOP.

For the next eight years he continued wishing for everything to stop. Now being 15 he had gotten use to most of what went on in his family and around him but he was lonely. He had tricked his mother years ago when he was 10 into signing a couple of forms allowing him to attend a school created entirely for deaf children. He had long since learned how to sign but attending that school allowed him to learn to start speaking again.

He hadn't spoken since Ruth died.

That school was also where he met his best friend, Tyler Oaks. Tyler had been born with poor hearing and as he got older it gradually got worst until it vanished all together and no matter what doctor's tried, it wasn't coming back.

Eric avoided Tyler who was in all of his classes but the other boy was persistent. Eventually he gave in and acknowledge Tyler with soon lead to them becoming the best of friends.

For 5 years they've stuck together and nothing could tear them apart.

Until now. Eric had gotten himself expelled for yelling at the Principal for favoring three jocks who had beat Tyler up, and left Eric with a mild concussion, the yelling itself had gotten him suspended. It was when Eric later at the end of the school day read his Principal's lips as the man talked on the phone with someone that Eric lost control. His Principal was talking to someone and telling whoever the hell it was how he had to deal with stupid deaf kids who weren't even welcomed at his school and instead should be in the circus with all the other "Freaks,". It was because of that one word, freak, that Eric took some kids baseball bat and started bashing in the windows on his Principal's cooper.

And that was what got him expelled. Though to save questioning by other's he claimed to have written "I wish my girlfriend were this dirty," on the dusty window of the Principal's car. Thankfully the Principal didn't want to attract attention to the situation he never pressed charges.

At first Eric was tempted just to not go to school anymore. He already had a job, having needed to get one years ago to pay bills, but then he realized without a proper education he couldn't really get somewhere that was a constant and away from his mother.

It was also when he was 15 that Eric chose to run away when his mother threw a glass at his head and then threatened to kill him.

What he didn't count on was while he was sitting in the park trying to figure out what his next move should be was that Tyler would come and find him.

For the first time in his life, Eric told the truth. He told Tyler every little detail he could remember from the divorce up until him running away.

Tyler didn't leave him like Eric feared and secretly hoped he would. Instead he brought Eric back to his house where Mrs. & Mr. Oaks welcomed him with open arms. All Tyler had told them was Eric no longer had a home and needed a place to stay, they agreed and didn't ask any questions other then Mr. Oaks asking if he could clean his head where a shard of glass had cut into his skin without him even realizing it.

From that point on Eric had a home. An actual home, not some shelter to keep out nature. He actually felt happy living with the Oaks, he even enrolled in a high school two miles away and which had more advanced technology programs then his previous school.

It was the day of Graduation that the Oaks surprised him with the best gift he could ever receive.

They had saved up money for years to pay for an experimental surgery which could bring Eric's hearing back. Not even a week after graduating, Eric had agreed to trying and despite the risks he had the surgery. There was a long wait to see if it actually worked, he had to wait in the hospital the entire time. Finally after almost an entire month, it was time to see if the surgery was a success.

It was.

The first thing he heard in years had been Tyler calling his name. Some bitter part of him found it poetic the last thing he heard had been Ruth calling his name and now the first thing he heard was his name once again.

He felt...normal again. Almost.

* * *

 **And that my dear friends was a backstory introduction! Don't worry, more is to come.**

 **As well as Eric having flashbacks or thinking about moments from his past which hadn't been mentioned in this first chapter.**

 **Review, let me know what you want to see added or if I need to fix anything! BTW THIS IS A AU NOT CANON!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Tell me Why?**_

* * *

Summary: Eric works hard to be useful, he also works hard to keep his past a secret. But now due to things out of his control, everything is changing even though he desperately wishes it wouldn't. No romance as of yet.

* * *

Character(s): Eric Beale, Linda Beale (maiden name Martin), Conrad Beale, Ruth Beale (Eric's younger sister), NECESSARY OC's, Callen, Sam, Deeks, Kensi, Nate?, Hetty, Mike Renko, Vance, Abby Scuito (maybe), and other random people might show up from time to time.

* * *

Warning(s): Suicidal minor Character, Mentions of deaths, a toddler dies, drinking, mental and emotional abuse, brief physical abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, secrets, Eric's not so happy childhood, deaf, sign language, speaking in other languages, yelling, offensive comments, **_DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED EASILY_** , lying, trust issues, panic attacks, running away from issues, more tags will be added as the story progresses.

* * *

I do not own NCIS LA

* * *

For the sake of this story, Eric Beale was born September 18, 1984.

* * *

Takes place after G, Callen but before season 2 begins. In this story Deeks never went missing and returned from his undercover OP a while ago. THIS IS NOT CANON IT IS A AU STORY

* * *

He was running late.

In all the years he's worked for N.C.I.S he's never been late before. Usually he'd come into work early just to get everything set up before the team came in. But today he was late.

Three hours late.

And it was all because of one phone call. Eric knew he should probably call Hetty or even leave a message to one of the others cells to let them know he was running late but if he were being honest he wasn't sure he could get on the phone without possibly crying.

His long time friend, his brother; Tyler was missing.

Kaitlin, Tyler's wife of five years now had called him and told him what was going on. Tyler never came home two days ago, and after 24 hours had passed she filed a missing persons report but when the police still hadn't found anything she called him. Eric couldn't help but think of Dom in moments like this. He was a bit upset that Kaitlin didn't call him the moment she noticed Tyler was missing but then again finding out your husband was missing and being left home with your two year old daughter was enough to make anybody a bit forgetful.

Shaking Eric pushed himself to get off the floor, where he had fallen halfway through Kaitlin's call, and walk towards the bedroom closet. He needed to get ready for work, Hetty would kill him if he just decided not to show up. Opening his closet Eric reached out to grab the first thing he saw; a dark green sweatshirt with "I can't hear you", written across the front in white. It was Tyler's...he had bought it as a joke years ago and gave it to Eric when it got to small for him.

Standing there staring at the sweatshirt, Eric was tempted just to crawl into the comforting space of his closet but he knew if he did then he wouldn't be getting out anytime soon.

The sudden loud ringing of his cell phone jolted Eric away front the closet, stumbling back a few feet he turned and snatched his cell phone of the covers of his bed.

"H-Hello?"

"Mr. Beale! I know how tempting it must be for you to continue surfing but let's not forget you do have a job!"

"Uh, Yes I know." Eric swallowed and decided not to bother correcting where he was, "S-Sorry Hetty. I'll be there soon." Hanging up before she could say another word, Eric grabbed a beige part of cargo shorts and quickly changed into them along with Tyler's sweatshirt. Putting on a pair of flip flops Eric ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it before running out the front door and just barely remembering to lock his apartment door behind him.

Usually he'd walk to work since he always surfed every morning at the closest beach, but since he didn't get the chance to this morning, Eric drove to work instead.

Hitting the four hour mark of being late, Eric parked haphazardly and ran inside only pausing to show his ID to security. When he didn't see anyone downstairs he took the stairs two at a time up to the Ops room. The doors opened and he ran into the room, only sliding briefly due to his flip flops losing traction. Panting slightly Eric looked up and saw the whole team staring at him.

"How nice of you to join us Mr. Beale! Now as I was saying," Hetty gestured towards the big screen, "Petty Officer's O'Neil and Johnson were both seen outside of Tiki Ti. O'Neil's body was found out back in the parking lot at 3:15AM this morning when the last of the bar's workers were heading home."

"Tiki Ti?" Eric repeated his eyebrows widening slightly.

"You know it?" Sam asked staring at him oddly.

"Uhh yeah?" Eric rubbed the back of his neck grinning, "It's on 4427 Sunset Blvd. They sell these amazing tropical drinks, how strong depends on which one you order. Oh! And they have the best food I've ever eaten!" Eric thought back to how the last time he had been to Tiki Ti was about a month or two ago and that was with Tyler...

"Really? I have got to try one." Deeks grinned but at the looks Sam and Hetty were shooting him he quickly added, "When the case is over I mean. I wouldn't try to drink any now."

Hetty nodded slightly, "Even so, Mr. Hana and Mr. Callen will be going over there while you Mr. Deeks are going to go with Ms. Blye to speak to O'Neil's parents. Mr. Beale if you would send the addresses to the team?"

"Oh uh, right." Eric forced himself to concentrate and walked around everyone, well aware of their eyes on him, and sit down at the computers. Without even realizing the rest of the team leaving the room Eric was startled when he finally turned back around and saw just Hetty and Nate standing behind him. "Was there something you guys needed?"

"Is everything alright Mr. Beale?" Hetty asked after a moment.

"Huh?" Eric tilted his head slightly, "Yeah everything's fine."

Hetty and Nate both looked at each other before looking back at Eric.

"You've been playing with the loose strings on your sleeve ever since you walked in here." Nate stated staring at Eric's hands causing Eric to look down himself.

"Oh." Eric held his hand up away from his sleeve and stared at it wondering what to do with it before settling on just dropping it limply onto his lap. Looking back over at his friends Eric forced a wide smile and said, "Seriously, I'm fine. Just a bit anxious about this new board I wanna try out."

"I see," Hetty said simply, "Well do be careful. Your may enjoy surfing Mr. Beale but it isn't the safest hobby to have."

"Right." Eric muttered before turning back towards the computer and ignoring Hetty and Nate all together. After all, he had work to do.


End file.
